Ever been told to “leave emotions out of it” for your negotiations? It’s common advice, but here’s the truth: Emotions don’t vanish just because you try to ignore them. They have a sneaky way of showing up — whether in your body language, tone of voice, or your phrasing. Ignoring emotions can actually undermine your negotiation objectives.
While emotions can be obstacles to negotiation, they can also be a great asset. As a foe, emotions distract from key issues, strain relationships, and leave you vulnerable to manipulation. As a friend, however, emotions can help address substantive interests, strengthen relationships, and be managed in a way that avoids exploitation. Studies show that mood significantly influences people’s thoughts, expectations, chosen negotiation strategies and outcomes. Thus, emotions are not necessarily obstacles to be dismissed but strategic tools to be leveraged.
A practical way of working with emotions effectively is offered by Fisher & Shapiro’s ‘Building Agreement’. By addressing core concerns like autonomy, status, or role, you can purposefully cultivate the proper climate for your negotiations. But addressing core concerns is just the start — to truly work with emotions, we must examine the lens through which we view and interpret the world.
Focus on your outlook. Your mindset drives your emotions, and those emotions fuel your behavior. Adopting an outlook conducive to successful negotiation behavior is not like flipping on a switch. With the guidance of a coach and through dedicated preparation, it’s possible to build the awareness and skills needed to turn emotions into a powerful ally rather than a hidden saboteur.
Emotions in Negotiation — A Secret Weapon or Hidden Saboteur?
